• Inuhime

    Still have to say “Awwwwww”. It’s sooo sad…

  • TwilightDreamer

    dang! been having computer problems all day, otherwise would’ve been on earlier…
    awww…poor Cheerokee, didn’t mean to hit a nerve….
    Poor Fleance to, acts tough but he’s hurting bad :(

  • Keys2tkingdom

    Indeed, the changes you made made the entire scene flow much better. Spreading out the vital stuff and dropping the rest makes this scene a lot more intimate and serious – which seems to match Fleance’s thoughts and mood up to when Cherokee step on that emotional landmine (Fleance *was* being like a teacher imparting serious subject matter to someone willing to learn after all).

    As for Fleance’s mood shift, it totally understandable that he’s bitter and I do feel sorry for him for loosing his home.

  • Jay

    The trimming that you’ve done really makes an impact. When I first read this scene, I didn’t really get that gut-punch feeling, but this updated version…oh my.

    I could almost read this scene without words and understand exactly what is going on just by the characters’ expressions. Cherokee looks so concerned (and maybe a bit shocked to find out the Prince doesn’t have an answer) and Fleance completely retreats inside.

    Brilliantly done, Dina!